When many of us go into therapy we do so in the hope of getting some quick release from the distress that we are experiencing at the time. We are very aware that therapy is costing us a lot in terms of time, money, and energy, and understandably we want to see some immediate results, especially when we are in emotional pain. No therapist, however, has a magic wand to instantly take away our pain, nor do they have a crystal ball and are able to know our exact needs without us saying. Therapy is not like a doctor that can set a broken leg, therapy takes time to heal the mind.

It is important that you talk with your therapist about what your expectations are, and about what your needs are from therapy. Just like any other relationship, the more you know and can communicate what you want and need from that relationship, the better chance you will have of receiving that. For some people, it may be easier, at first, for you to write down your needs than to say them aloud. It may well be that you are entering therapy for the first time and not have any sense of what needs to happen other than you want to feel better than you currently do feel. It is very important that you express this also. Therapy should be a two way process of communication.

1. It takes time to establish a trusting relationship with a therapist, so expect it to take several sessions with a therapist before you feel comfortable with them.

2. It is important that you go at your own pace and not overwhelm yourself. Do not try to rush things for a quick fix, or because you feel you owe it to your partner etc.

3. We all resist change, so do not be at all surprised if you are tempted to quit therapy right before some real changes or breakthroughs are about to happen.

4. Not all therapeutic methods are correct for all peoples needs and situations. If you feel that the therapeutic model used by your therapist is inappropriate for your needs, you should talk this through with your therapist.

5. Being committed to therapy will change your life. Be prepared to feel some loss and fear because of this. Others around you may resist your changes and growth, and they will need time to adapt to the new you.

6. Therapy is very often hard work, and can be emotionally draining at times. After an intense therapy session expect to fell exhausted and emotionally drained for a while.

7. Your therapist will not be perfect as a person, and will make mistakes, as all humans do. Hopefully he or she will acknowledge and take responsibility for those mistakes.

8. Sometimes, therapy can release emotions that have been "locked in time" for many years, and sometimes after a therapy session you may feel like a child for a while, with a child's fears. It is not unusual, when dealing with buried feelings, for what may well be the first time in your life, for you at actually feel that you are becoming worse than you were before you started therapy.

9. Some therapy is short term (usually focusing on one issue and situation) while other therapy may be much more long term (more than one or complex issues.)

10. You should expect your therapist to have good, strong, boundaries, and to avoid dual relationships, (i.e. personal friendships), to be ethical, and treat you with respect. If they do not, find another therapist.

11. If you feel that you are unable to get on with your therapist, you should look around for another one. However, you should also look at if it is that you are unable to get along with them, or if you are becoming afraid of the change that is happening.

12. Becoming a more healthy and balanced person can feel very unfamiliar and uncomfortable at first. This is both normal, and to be expected.